Given that our words are so powerful, learning to be mindful when we speak creates a huge opportunity for growth, healing, and understanding. Think about when someone you care about says something hurtful to you. Consider how much it hurts, how long it sticks with you, and how it pulls you down. It’s a terrible feeling that can push you off your path and break relationships.
Ah, but there’s a flipside. Always a cosmic balance. If that kind of impact is real with hurtful words, then the same is true for the opposite. By being mindful when we speak, we can create big waves of positivity inside others and ourselves. With little effort, we can make people feel healed, lift them up, and fill them with a feeling of warmth.
Like any mindfulness practice, consistency fades in over time. Start by trying to employ these techniques when you remember. As you continue to apply yourself, these practices will become instinctual. One day, it will hit you that you’re speaking mindfully without even trying, and you’ll realize that you’ve permanently leveled up your awareness.
How To Mindfully Communicate
Don’t repeatedly bring the focus of the conversation back on you.
Making sure a conversation is balanced deepens connections. Allow space while you’re talking. Listen to what they say instead of waiting for your turn to speak. Inviting the other person to share more helps them feel safe and allows them to go deeper into themselves.
Ask questions instead of correcting people.
Building the habit of asking questions instead of correcting people is a strong form of mindful communication. It keeps you from making assumptions and gives the person you’re talking to a chance to share more of their insights, which often leads to valuable new ways of thinking.
Quietly listen.
Sometimes quietly listening can be more powerful than speaking. We don’t always need to be the ones giving opinions. Being patient and giving who we are talking to our attention will often make them feel more validated than anything we could say.
Communicate boundaries.
Words are tools you can use to let others know your feelings and where you stand. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with. People aren’t mind readers. You have to tell them what your boundaries are before they can know. Communicating your boundaries is how you define your life. It lets other people know who you are and makes it clear if they try to treat you as someone you are not.
Let go of the urge to say harmful things.
We all have an instinct now and again to talk trash, gossip, or put things down. While this is a natural part of being human, being mindful of speaking this way is valuable. When you feel you’re about to say something negative for no reason, pause and let it go. Speaking negatively doesn’t add anything good to how you or the people around you feel. It only encourages the vibe of the conversation to become more toxic.
Speak from a sincere and present place.
Be sincere when you speak. It conveys an authentic energy that grounds the conversation. What’s lovely about this is that creating a firm and open feeling in a conversation gives the person you’re talking to a feeling of trust. This feeling allows them to access deeper parts of themselves, share more, and embrace a rich sense of realness.
Choosing your words as you speak.
Choosing your words with intention helps you speak honestly. Sometimes we can be hyperbolic, bend the truth, or talk with ulterior motivations. Being aware of what you’re saying prevents this, which boosts your integrity and makes others see you as trustworthy. Paying attention to your words also gives you the space to prioritize kindness.
Being peaceful doesn’t mean that you’re always passive.
It’s important to assert yourself sometimes. Of course, it’s healthy to be rational and non-reactionary. However, life sometimes gets thick, and we aren’t heard or face unfair resistance. In these moments, we need to put power in our words and make a claim to our lives. When you are assertive, speak kindly but honestly. There’s no need to be angry or negative when being forceful. You need to be clear and matter-of-fact without attachment to aggressive emotions. Speaking like this when needed will foster a sense of self-belief, make you feel validated, and help you give yourself the respect you deserve.
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