We are wired to feel entitled to our desires.
If you think about it, it makes sense. We’re animals that evolved to always watch for food, mates, and whatever might be waiting on the other side of the mountain. Because this instinct to “seek to survive” is a core part of our minds, it feels right to meet our desires whenever they appear.
Back in the early human days, our desires were reasonable. Find water. Find food. Find a safe spot to rest for a while. But now that people have evolved into whatever we are today, most of us are nested in abundance.
So, in the modern world, we have limitless opportunities to have our desires met. There’s food stacked higher than our heads in grocery stores, endless streaming entertainment, every online store you can imagine, dating apps, and extended happy hour. The reality is that it’s hard to control ourselves in a society that uses our evolutionary psychology against us.
Every time an impulse rises in us, there’s an offering waiting to meet that desire and massage our brain into believing that we need and deserve it. We barely stand a chance at resisting our whims.
But hold on. What’s wrong with having our desires met around the clock?
Having no impulse control takes away our power of choice. Without the ability to choose, our mindset shifts in a subtle but powerful way. It gives us the illusion that the world is the one calling all the shots, not us. When that mindset takes over, we lose our personal power. After that starts to happen, it becomes near impossible to take charge of our lives and move forward in the meaningful ways we know are possible.
As noted earlier, it’s tough to resist indulging in every desire that crosses our path. Not only are there so many temptations, but remember, we evolved to seek to survive. So, we feel like we need to give in.
But let’s flip things inside out a minute. Think of it this way:
Self-discipline isn’t depriving yourself of things, it’s giving yourself freedom from being controlled by them.
Looking at your behavior through that lens is potent. When you start approaching your life and desires with more discipline, you start to take back your power. You slowly become less controlled by your whims and liberate yourself from the distracting hypnotism of sensory entertainment. Of course, I’m not saying you should never enjoy yourself. Y
ou most certainly should. I’m saying it would serve us well to be mindful of why.
Doing this gives you a new level of self-trust. You reorient your mindset to one that’s in control of your animal impulses, your passing thoughts, and fleeting wants for distraction.
You become focused and strong and feel at peace in your skin just as you are. From there, you can move forward in life with fierce self-confidence and the knowledge that the world isn’t the one calling the shots about your life–you are.
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