Not Everything Deserves Your Attention

How To Spend Your Life Doing What Truly Matters

People are addicted to completism. Once we start something, or rather, invest ourselves in it, we feel like we have to finish it. That’s why you force yourself to finish reading a book that you aren’t enjoying. You listen through to the end of a podcast that you can feel is making you dumber and see sequels to movies you didn’t really like the first time. It’s also why you stick it out in bad relationships, keep working miserable jobs, and try to focus on doing so much that you’re not truly doing anything.

Our innate need to “get through to the end” is deeply rooted in our survival instincts. We have animal brains that are designed to keep moving forward in the face of discomfort. While this was super handy while starving in the jungle or riding on a leaky wooden boat across the ocean, munching on hard bread and unseasoned dried meats, it doesn’t always serve us well in the modern world.

Times have changed. Life, reality, and society have become so complex and overwhelmingly attention-hungry that we simply cannot manage everything that comes our way—even if we would like to.

Here’s the problem: finishing stuff feels good. Like, really good. It gives us a deep sense of joy, meaning, relief, and resolution (which is why we stick it out in bad movies, books, and pods. The feeling of conflict/story resolution is sometimes too tasty of a proposition to turn down, even if it lacks nutritional value). It’s also why we endlessly scroll. Scrolling is searching for a resolution that will never come.

There’s no way for us to get that delicious sense of resolution if we have too many daily touchpoints to get to. So, by scattering our attention and energy, we are scattering our opportunities to feel meaning, happiness, and fulfillment.

Here’s the solution: Don’t overwhelm yourself with surface-level nonsense simply because it exists and you can. Here’s a big fact that we all, myself included, need to constantly remember…

Not everything deserves your attention.

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If we’re going to feel good, present, clear, and happy, then we have to start steering the ship. We have to take control of our focus and confront the fact that some things (and people) just aren’t worth our time or attention. We have to do less but do it deeply. That means letting go of cultural pressure and cheap dopamine and developing a sense of mental sovereignty.

Focusing on what truly matters and being deeply present for it while letting that which does not matter slide is the only way to overcome our nagging need to do everything so that we can finally do something.

Because if we are just blowing through our lives, ticking the boxes, doing shallow stuff while on autopilot…what are we doing? Is it even living?

No. It’s being alive. But it isn’t living.

To live is to be present. To be present is to slow down. To slow down is to simplify. To simplify is to focus. To focus is to be mindful of what we are doing with our awareness.

We must feel deeply into the moment and actually be, without mentally being elsewhere. To do less, but do it deeply. To follow through on the simple, meaningful, and beautiful. To exist in the moment rather than of the moment.

So how do we do this?

1. Start with Clarity

When you find yourself in the anxious flow of “doing” rather than “being,” take a step back and ask yourself: What truly matters?

Give it the deathbed test if you have to. Think, are you really going to care if you responded to that email right now rather than on Monday on your deathbed? No. Are you going to regret not being fully present and connected with your loved ones? Yes.

Sure, this is an extreme example to make a point. But the more you start identifying what’s actually meaningful to you, the quicker you will stop letting yourself be pulled in a dozen directions and take control of your awareness.

2. Focus On the Moment

Once you’ve started focusing on singular tasks, connections, and moments, it’s time to dive in completely. Whether it’s writing, cooking, hanging with a friend, or sitting with your thoughts—be there fully.

Pay attention to the details. Feel the textures, notice the rhythms, observe the quiet magic of being, and settle into the moment.

Remember: depth is a practice of presence.

3. Reevaluate Regularly

Every now and then, reflect on where your time and energy are going. Ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth your attention. I do this almost every day.

When I start feeling fatigued or my focus starts drifting, I ask myself why I’m doing what I’m doing and if it’s worth the time, energy, and awareness. If the answer is no, I switch gears and move on to something else.

Being conscious of whether what I’m doing moment to moment is worth my attention not only bolsters my mental clarity. It also helps me prioritize being truly present so that I can spend time in this life in a way that I won’t regret on my deathbed.

Slow School starts December 3rd. Learn more here.