The Myth of “What’s Wrong?”

Why emotional tension is a part of being human, not a problem

We’ve been taught to believe that if we feel emotional tension, something is wrong with us. If someone seems off or upset, we’ll literally ask, “What’s wrong?” This conditioning creates anxiety and guilt around a completely natural part of our inner lives.

Being human means experiencing emotional expansion and contraction. Joy and sorrow. Lightness and heaviness. Openness and protection. Flow and resistance. Feeling the less “pleasant” side of these spectrums doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It’s simply the natural rhythm of consciousness unfolding within human experience. 

Think about your breathing. You don’t inhale and then panic because an exhale is coming. You don’t try to hold your breath forever to avoid the contraction phase. You understand that both expansion and contraction are necessary for the system to work.

Your emotional life operates the same way.

The problem isn’t that tension arises. It’s that we resist it, judge it, and try to block it out if we can. We treat emotional contraction like an emergency instead of recognizing it as a natural part of being alive.

The sooner we accept that tension is an inherent part of the human experience, the sooner we can learn to work with it in a mindful, compassionate, and insightful way. 

When you feel that familiar tightness rising in your chest, stomach, or mind, don’t ignore it and seek numbness. Notice it, get curious about it, and name the sensation: “There’s anxiety,” or “I’m feeling defensive,” or “There’s tension here.” 

This simple act of recognition creates a profound inner space. Space between you and the feeling. Space to breathe instead of react. Space to see what is actually arising instead of getting swept away in a mental story of guilt, frustration, or anxiety. 

From that spacious awareness, you can see more clearly. What triggered the contraction? Something external that needs to be addressed or an internal pattern that needs gentle attention? Maybe it’s time for a direct conversation. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge an old wound that's trying to protect you and offer it compassion.

The goal isn’t to eliminate tension from your life. Remember, it’s natural and unavoidable. The goal is to develop a healthier, more flowing relationship with it. To process it cleanly, with wisdom instead of resistance.