21 Comments

dear cory,

love this!

"Building the habit of asking questions instead of correcting people is a strong form of mindful communication" <-- beautiful and super appreciated!

thanks for sharing!

love

myq

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Thank you friend!

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Well put!

For #1: (Related to not being so self-interested) I want to be better about imagining the other person's perspective.

And I don't mean opinions.

I mean their actual vantage point. What angle they're coming from and what they're aware of and what matters to them.

And (if only silently) empathizing with them about their current fears, doubts, goals.

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Yes, that's super valuable. It's also useful to do that with previous versions of yourself to understand how you've grown and how you are growing.

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I love this suggestion. Learning to see through the lens of another person’s perspective not only enhances our own understanding, but develops compassion and empathy. Thank you for the reminder. 🙏

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The people who are great at this (not I, yet) have a superpower!

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"However, life sometimes gets thick, and we aren’t heard or face unfair resistance. In these moments, we need to put power in our words and make a claim to our lives." speaks volumes to me. I can be highly reactionary, and the old 'just ignore it' advice doesn't always cut it. I'm working on turning my offence into curiosity and asking "what did you mean by that?" or something similar, to take away some of the power of an intended ridicule or insult. It takes guts, and control, neither comes easily....

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Curiosity…yes!!!

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These are such beautiful reminders. Thank you!! I feel like I’m often pulled into unconscious patterns of behavior, so this is (likely) going to be a life long practice for me. Does it get easier over time?

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It does. Just keep practicing and it will start to become natural.

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'When you are assertive, speak kindly but honestly.'

A really wise point, Cory. It shows that we don't necessarily have to be fueled by our emotions and be dominating in order to be assertive and to ensure that we're heard.

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Well done - and not the same old, same old advice either. I'm going to share this in my Substack for HSP copywriters. (:

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Thanks so much. That means a lot to me :)

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Thank you for sharing 😊

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My pleasure.

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May 15Liked by Cory Allen

❤️ this thank you

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Forwarded to several humans for whom this is relevant. For me, beyond helpful, reminders to listen, to get quiet. To choose words. Thank you dear Cory.

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Thank you so much, Elena 🙏🏻🖤

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My husband had two strokes about 8 months ago which affected his speech centers. His speech is improving every day but there are still a cognitive delays between what he wants to say and the act of saying it. His struggles have made me a better communicator. I listen more. I wait before stepping in to fill in the word that he is searching for. I take care to speak slowly and clearly, and with greater intention. I am slower to anger when he forgets something I have said. His situation has made me a more compassionate wife, and a more appreciative person for the gift of speech and for life itself.

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So wonderful. All of this.

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Thank you

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