100% agree, Cory. You talk about allowing who you are to "come out". This year, I learned that the term "coming out" from a queer perspective is derived from the drag balls modeled after debutante balls. In other words, "coming out" was initially oriented around coming out into your community—as opposed to just around revealing your truth. It helped me see that coming out—sharing your true self—leads to connection and community. It's become such a powerful idea as I seek more community in my life.
Love this: Being vulnerable is saying something you don’t want to say because it lets others see a part of you that isn’t protected, manicured, and cast in a light of strength.
For years I masqueraded as vulnerable by sharing things that would make others uncomfortable to share. Once I started to be genuinely vulnerable with myself and others, my relationships deepened.
Wow!! This article was incredible! I would one very important point though, which has many ramifications. It’s not that necessarily it allows the real you to come for intimacy to be possible, but actually your child self, for whom the playfulness is the core of intimacy, as the concept of “foreplay” connotes. So well written.
Wow!! This article was incredible! I would one very important point though, which has many ramifications. It’s not that necessarily it allows the real you to come for intimacy to be possible, but actually your child self, for whom the playfulness is the core of intimacy, as the concept of “foreplay” connotes. So well written.
And if we find ourselves in the seat of desperation, or someone we’re talking to, let’s remember to offer acceptance and compassion and not judgement. It can take the nervous system a long time to feel safe being vulnerable. And it takes focused healing to learn how to set healthy boundaries and stop giving your power away to others. 🙏🏼💖
Super interested in how you differentiated radical authenticity and vulnerability. I hadn’t thought about it in this way before, as I feel as though to be radically authentic requires vulnerability. I’d love to hear how you define radical authenticity and how you got to a place of differentiating it from vulnerability :)
To me it sounded like he was saying that radical authenticity can be used in a egocentric way. Whereas vulnerability by default requires a softening of the ego
What would it even mean to be radically authentic? There are so many parts to us that it would seem infinitely impossible to do that. Are not our shadow parts also authentically who we are. Is our ego not part of our self? Maybe that’s too philosophical but I think radically authentic can tolerate an egocentric element versus vulnerability. What do you think?
I’m not so sure I have the kind of vulnerability you speak of. I'm not able to determine what's in my own best interest. Thus it becomes evident to people when I open up I become the prey of the preditor. People can see I'm “open” but too open.
I think when we get to a place where we choose to be vulnerable, the boundary of being okay and having strength in however it is received is key.
I think vulnerability is strength, period.
As we share, the concern wouldn’t be ppl taking advantage but that we were strong enough to allow ppl in for our own elevation and to give space for others’ to be that too.
And lol I’m a 64 yr old man. Married once but never again after that. In fact if I ever were to get married again it would have to be an arranged marriage like they did for young people way back in the day lol
100% agree, Cory. You talk about allowing who you are to "come out". This year, I learned that the term "coming out" from a queer perspective is derived from the drag balls modeled after debutante balls. In other words, "coming out" was initially oriented around coming out into your community—as opposed to just around revealing your truth. It helped me see that coming out—sharing your true self—leads to connection and community. It's become such a powerful idea as I seek more community in my life.
Reference here: https://oncourage.substack.com/p/what-coming-out-taught-me-about-courage
Wow, that’s incredible. Thank you for sharing, Elliot.
Love this: Being vulnerable is saying something you don’t want to say because it lets others see a part of you that isn’t protected, manicured, and cast in a light of strength.
Appreciate you 🙏🏻
Wisely said. Thanks for sharing.
Awe, yes! Well said. That's the connection and communication I've been creating and waiting for! Thank you Cory!
Thank you 🙏🏻
For years I masqueraded as vulnerable by sharing things that would make others uncomfortable to share. Once I started to be genuinely vulnerable with myself and others, my relationships deepened.
Thank you for this powerful reminder.
Lived through the same thing 🙏🏻
dear cory,
thank you for sharing this!
i really like this line (among many beautiful, poetic lines):
"when both of you speak from the heart, without the armor of the ego, the essence of your inner selves can finally meet."
much love!
myq
Thank you, Myq 🖤🖤🖤
Wow!! This article was incredible! I would one very important point though, which has many ramifications. It’s not that necessarily it allows the real you to come for intimacy to be possible, but actually your child self, for whom the playfulness is the core of intimacy, as the concept of “foreplay” connotes. So well written.
Wow!! This article was incredible! I would one very important point though, which has many ramifications. It’s not that necessarily it allows the real you to come for intimacy to be possible, but actually your child self, for whom the playfulness is the core of intimacy, as the concept of “foreplay” connotes. So well written.
Thank you so much, Isaiah.
Cory, Well written - insightful - and true. D
Thank you 🙏🏻
And if we find ourselves in the seat of desperation, or someone we’re talking to, let’s remember to offer acceptance and compassion and not judgement. It can take the nervous system a long time to feel safe being vulnerable. And it takes focused healing to learn how to set healthy boundaries and stop giving your power away to others. 🙏🏼💖
Absolutely true.
Super interested in how you differentiated radical authenticity and vulnerability. I hadn’t thought about it in this way before, as I feel as though to be radically authentic requires vulnerability. I’d love to hear how you define radical authenticity and how you got to a place of differentiating it from vulnerability :)
To me it sounded like he was saying that radical authenticity can be used in a egocentric way. Whereas vulnerability by default requires a softening of the ego
Totally..but then if it's egocentric, it's inherently not radically authentic. Or am I just getting into the semantics too much? :)
What would it even mean to be radically authentic? There are so many parts to us that it would seem infinitely impossible to do that. Are not our shadow parts also authentically who we are. Is our ego not part of our self? Maybe that’s too philosophical but I think radically authentic can tolerate an egocentric element versus vulnerability. What do you think?
How did I not know you had a pod...Yipee.
Hope you enjoy it!
Thanks, Cory! This landed at just the right time. I hope all is well, my friend.
Hey Pete! So glad to hear it. Hope you’re well too!
Really nice, insightful piece! It saddens me that we have become more and more superficial.
🙏🏻
I’m glad you shared your podcast on here. I am antsy to listen to them.
I’m not so sure I have the kind of vulnerability you speak of. I'm not able to determine what's in my own best interest. Thus it becomes evident to people when I open up I become the prey of the preditor. People can see I'm “open” but too open.
I think when we get to a place where we choose to be vulnerable, the boundary of being okay and having strength in however it is received is key.
I think vulnerability is strength, period.
As we share, the concern wouldn’t be ppl taking advantage but that we were strong enough to allow ppl in for our own elevation and to give space for others’ to be that too.
Interesting
And lol I’m a 64 yr old man. Married once but never again after that. In fact if I ever were to get married again it would have to be an arranged marriage like they did for young people way back in the day lol